National Suicide Prevention Month the Loss of a Child to Suicide – Raising Awareness

The Loss of a Child to Suicide

Davina Cooper, BBSL, CPO of Empower WoMen, L.L.C. speaks about the loss of a child to suicide. National Suicide Prevention Month can’t go by without her sharing what she learned. Also on recovering from trauma and suicide by a loved one. Davina has set up a Facebook fundraiser for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. First of all, Davina Cooper has a #1 best selling book on Amazon, “Shattered, Scattered, Reinvented! A Journey to Love, Hope and Healing.” She shares her story of pain and suffering after someone commits suicide. Davina tells a very thorough and moving expression of a mother’s grief at the transition of her only child. Yet in her grief, Davina also is able to speak of the joy and love, that only a mother can know for her child. Furthermore, how deeply that pain impacts a life.

First of all, like many others, her son Michael, was a master at concealing his pain. He could be fun to be with, always laughing, and such a prankster. Also, he was always the “go to guy” for any help anyone needed. Yet he couldn’t help himself or ask for help; instead, he covered up his pain. Therefore, no one had any idea that he was at a breaking point. Although in retrospect, there were warning signs and risk factors. If he only knew how many people truly loved him. Furthermore, people with thoughts of suicide might not act like they are having those thoughts. Some just seem to act “normal” when there is so much more going on. The truth is we just can’t read each others’ minds and thoughts. We have to ask directly and explicitly if one is thinking of suicide.

Suicide intensifies the grief and adds other facets to the loss. The immense grief journey can be a lonely one and there is no timetable or method for any of us, even our spouse or child. People don’t ever “get over it,” but very slowly start healing and adjusting, moving forward one step at a time, yet they never forget the trauma. Survivors have to come to terms with the fact that they will never understand the exact reason why suicide was chosen.

Raising Awareness

Suicide has a stigma to it, as if the person were weak, a coward or selfish. Davina Cooper says “The number of suicides represents a loved one, not just a number.” Men take their own lives at nearly four times the rate of females. About 90% of suicides happen as the result of some sort of mental illness. Suicide doesn’t discriminate and no one is beyond its reach.

There is no test (urine, blood, x-ray, brain scan, etc.) for mental illness of any kind, much less for degrees of severity. Besides that, the diagnosis and treatment are purely subjective. Diagnosis is based on what a person says, how that person acts; warning signs and risk factors. One problem is mental illness isn’t necessarily temporary; it can be a lifelong illness. Getting help can be much harder if you don’t have the money and time to get medical treatment,. Help is possible if you ask, so ask, never give up hope. Finally, take the time to truly listen to those around you without judgment, to what they are feeling in that moment. It can save a life.